You will want to talk to a professional for help finding a treatment program that will be best for your family and your spouse’s needs. Rehab programs vary in treatment length, philosophy, level of care, and cost. It is very important to find the right one, because you might only have one shot.
- It can take a toll physically, as the person in recovery is going through withdrawal symptoms that can be very intense.
- Design For Recovery is committed to helping you or your loved one live a fulfilling life free from alcohol and drug addiction.
- Although many people have guilt and shame about their partner being in recovery, it’s best to let your friends and family know.
- It can be hard to relax and enjoy your life when you’re constantly worried about what your spouse is doing or whether they will make it home safe.
A therapist can help you address underlying issues that may trigger alcoholism. A professional take on your journey can impact your overall progress. Also, it can foster deeper connection and understanding with each other.
Rebuilding Trust (One Day at a Time)
I was lonely, but I also wanted to be left alone to drink however I wanted to drink. He became both my support system and my target and we were utterly codependent as many alcoholics can be (me, not him). But he’s not the type to talk about those things. If you’re a woman, you can drink for free pretty much any night of the week if you want. Of course, we still had to pay for my husband’s drinks, but that’s the rub.
- And we didn’t have a clue how to begin to do that.
- I don’t think my husband and I ever really knew each other until I got sober.
- Unfortunately, for as many years as it has taken folks to get into recovery, they’d like to make up for lost time and be all better by next week.
- And many of those individuals have partners or spouses.
- But still, we didn’t really know each other the way you’re traditionally meant to before you go and marry a person.
- Offering to stop cheating on her with my liquid lover wouldn’t do anything to fix the pain of the years of betrayal.
- While you can get help at the same time, recovery is an individual journey.
But the stress that comes along with constant arguing can become a trigger for the person living with SUD to use drugs or alcohol. Substance use within unhappy relationships can also become a downward spiral that can be difficult to get out of. One (or both) partner’s substance use can become the source of arguments. Whether one or both of you struggle with a substance use problem, there is hope. Here are a few strategies to consider as you set out to rebuild your marriage after the devastation of addiction.
Us Vs. Them: Why Sobriety Wasn’t the Marriage Saver I Thought It Would Be
Your SUD recovery may benefit from the social support and closeness, too. Respecting everyone’s boundaries and feelings can be key. Partners of those living with SUD experience their own fair share of relationship challenges. Because you’re not going to be the same person you were when you drank.
We still have a lot of work to do and, unfortunately, we are still victims of our past. It is what we do with that past that defines us, not what has happened. It took time but I began to speak out about our struggles, about the violence, marriage changes after sobriety and about the strained state of our relationship. With each week I got stronger, and the stronger I got, the further I found myself from him. Everyone I have ever spoken to about this, at least today, congratulates me on my strength.
How to repair relationships after substance use disorder
But with his sobriety came acceptance, healing and forgiveness. With his sobriety came spirituality and empathy, and with his sobriety would come an apology. Dr. Robert Navarra is a Master Certified Gottman Therapist, Trainer, Consultant, Speaker, and Certified as a Master Addiction Counselor.
